Ask Debbie: how to handle homework and after-school activities Editor's Note: These monthly columns on parenting issues are written by Deb Cohen, associate director of the Early Childhood Program at the Springfield Jewish Community Center. She holds a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education. Send your questions to Dcohen@springfieldjcc.org and look for the answer here. Dear Debbie, My daughter, Shelly, is in the 5th grade and is a good student. She has lots of friends and many after school activities. She goes to dancing school twice a week and religious school once a week. The problem is that there are many nights that Shelly is up until 10:30 doing her homework. She does not want to give up her activities, but all this homework is driving us both nuts. I hate to think she will have to give up dance. Any ideas how we can fit everything in and still stay sane? Hope you can help. -Frazzled Dear Frazzled, Oh I remember those days. I think there were even some days when I picked my daughter up from religious school, fed her in the car and dropped her off at dance. I am NOT suggesting that as a plan, but as crazy as life gets, it can be manageable with a little forethought. While school-work is of the utmost importance, after school activities have their place too. Knowing that Shelly is a good student lets me know that she is conscientious about her schoolwork, which is wonderful. I am equally pleased that she has many friends and is interested in many after school activities. Staying up until 10:30 to do homework, however, is not a great plan. We want to make sure that Shelly gets a good night's sleep so she can do well at school in the morning. Let's see how we can ease the homework pressure: Some homework is given daily and must be done that way. Other assignments, such as book reports, theme papers, and science projects are generally given in advance with a due date two or more weeks away. You need to help Shelly put those kinds of assignments on a schedule so she is not finishing them at the last minute. As for the daily work, you and Shelly need to decide how much time she needs to complete her assignments and still be in bed at a reasonable hour. It sounds like Shelly either has activities right after school or in the early evening. If that is the case, then there is some leeway we can play with. Shelly has to plan to do her homework right after school on the days she has an evening activity. For the days with afternoon classes, Shelly will need to do her work right after dinner. I know that the TV, the phone and the computer might be tempting, but they need to be off-limits until the homework is done. You might have to monitor Shelly to keep her on track, but I think it is manageable. If, however, the homework is still keeping Shelly up until 10:30, you will have to look at lessening her after school activities. I believe, with some heart to heart discussions, both you and Shelly will find a way to enjoy her continued successes both in school and after school. Until next time, be well. -Deb