Ask Debbie By Deb Cohen Special to Reminder Publications Editor's Note: This is the first of a new monthly column on parenting issues written by Deb Cohen, theassociate director of the Early Childhood Program at the Springfield Jewish Community Center. She holds a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education. Send your questions to Dcohen@springfieldjcc.org and look for the answer here. Dear Debbie: My child refuses to go to sleep. It takes hours of fussing and crying before he finally submits to exhaustion. What can I do? Mrs. Insomniac Dear Mrs. Insomniac: I absolutely understand that just when you are getting ready to unwind for the evening, your child is wound up like a top ready to whirl! Bedtime means peace and quiet to parents but the end of activity to a child. What you need to do is help your little one's body slow down and relax so sleep can take over. Let's look at a few suggestions. Routine is key try to keep to a usual bedtime even on the weekends. Start by giving your child a warm bath. It is soothing and gives you time for conversation about the fun things you both did during the day. Brushing teeth is next we have to keep those teeth pearly white Once we are in our snuggly P.J.s it is time for a few books (Few being the operative word - not the whole library - two books is great, but three is pushing the limit.) Encourage your child to cuddle with a speical toy and a blanket that gives him comfort. This will help him comfort himself once you leave the room. Get ready here's the hard part Give a kiss and hug, say "I'll be in to check on you before I go to bed," and walk out of the room. You can expect some tears or calling out for you, but be strong. You know that your child is okay. Allow ten minutes (this is a good time to vacuum). If your child is still upset, go to her, rub her back for a minute and say goodnight. Do not pick her up out of the bed! Go take a bubble bath you deserve it hopefully, after twenty minutes, your child will be fast asleep. If the tears are still flowing, go visit again - sit on the floor and rub your child's back and feet. Do not sit on the bed. Your rising from the bed is just enough to wake the child. Keep your talking to a minimum. Let your child know everything is okay but do not engage in conversation. Once you hear your child breathing deply, you should be able to make your escape. Tomorrow night, try it again. Understand that some children take a long time to find a comfortable sleeping pattern. I do promise you this though: By the time your child is 16 years old, waking him up will be more difficult than getting him to sleep! Until next time, Be Well! The Springfield Jewish Community Center is a recipient agency of the Jewish Federation of Greater Springfield and of the Community United Way of Pioneer Valley.